28 Aug 2025 ● Ummay Aimen
Shared Voices: Coffee, Books, and CBT - Finding Calm in Life’s Little Messes
It started with a coffee stain.
One morning, like so many others, I sat down with my book and my favourite cup of coffee. But this time, a slight nudge and — splat! — coffee all over the pages.
My first reaction? Annoyance.
“Ugh, how could I be so careless?”
“This stain is huge.”
“This book is ruined.”
My brain went into overdrive. Self-blame, catastrophising, fixation — all the usual cognitive biases came rushing in. It’s incredible how quickly a tiny accident can spiral into an avalanche of negative self-talk.
But then something happened. I paused.
I reminded myself of everything I’ve learned about well-being, reframing, and perspective.
And in that pause, the annoyance shifted.
The coffee stain stopped being “ruined pages” and started being something else entirely: a reminder of growth, habits, and self-compassion.
The Power of Reframing
Instead of drowning in negative thoughts, I tried new perspectives:
“This stain is actually proof of my morning habit of reading — something I’m proud of.”
“Books aren’t meant to stay pristine. They’re meant to be lived with, learned from, carried around.”
“In 5 days, 5 weeks, 5 years… will I even remember this stain?”
That was enough to change everything. My nervous system calmed. The tension in my shoulders eased. I even smiled.
This wasn’t about the book anymore. It was about choosing how to respond.
Everyday Moments as Learning Opportunities
We often think growth comes from the “big things” — degrees, promotions, milestones. But often, it’s the everyday moments that shape us most.
A spilled coffee.
A missed bus.
A conversation that didn’t go the way we hoped.
These small things are invitations. Each one is a chance to notice our patterns and rewrite them.
Practical Techniques You Can Try
Next time you catch yourself spiralling after a small mistake, try:
Cognitive restructuring: Ask, “What’s another way I can see this situation?”
Self-compassion: Remind yourself, “Making mistakes doesn’t mean I’m careless or flawed.”
Zoom out: Ask, “Will this matter in 5 days, 5 weeks, or 5 years?”
Each one creates space. Each one brings calm.
Final Thought
That coffee stain didn’t ruin my book. It became part of its story — and part of mine.
So here’s my invitation for the day:
Think of a recent “coffee stain” moment in your life. How did you talk to yourself? And how could you reframe it differently?
Aimen's Book Recommendations
The Road Less Travelled, by M. Scott Peck
In this insightful book, Peck explores life’s challenges, emphasising discipline, self-awareness, and love as keys to personal growth. Blending psychology and spirituality, he shows how facing difficulties and embracing responsibility can lead to resilience, emotional maturity, and a deeper understanding of oneself. This book is a valuable read for anyone seeking practical insights and timeless guidance on cultivating resilience, emotional maturity, and a deeper understanding of themselves.
Why Has Nobody Told Me This Before, by Dr. Julie Smith
In this practical book, Dr. Julie Smith explores common mental health challenges and offers evidence-based strategies to manage thoughts, emotions, and behaviour. With relatable advice and clear exercises, she shows how small, consistent changes can build resilience, improve wellbeing, and empower readers to take control of their mental health.
About the Author
Aimen is a private educator of 4 years, with experience working 1-1 with clients who have anxiety, to support them with Islamic, CBT and DBT informed interventions and improve mental and emotional wellbeing. As an aspiring CBT therapist, she hopes to create her own community-interest company to champion the wellbeing and success of Muslim youth (particularly women).
