Early Counselling Training and the Gap in Men’s Mental Health Education

When I first started training as a counsellor, I thought the hardest part would be mastering theory, learning to sit with silence, or writing enough on a criteria to get the green tick that I awarded myself. But one of the things that stayed with me most was realising how rarely men’s mental health, as a stand-alone topic, was spoken about in training rooms, in placements, amongst my peers. It became clear early on that this was where I wanted to focus. Not because it was easy, but because it felt overlooked.

The Impact of Upbringing on Men’s Emotional Expression

Part of that comes from my own upbringing. Being a man of a certain age meant growing up with phrases like “big boys don’t cry,” “pull your socks up,” and “man up.” That was the air we breathed. You learned quickly to hide emotions, to stay tough, to keep going no matter what. Stoic men acting stoically and not always asking for the help that they might need, rather looking after everyone else before they looked after themselves.

Unspoken Rules and Emotional Silence in the Therapy Room

During my placement I realised how many of the men I met were still carrying those same unspoken rules. Decades later, the message had sunk so deep that even in the counselling room they struggled to find the words, even when they had the 'permission'. Some would arrive full of nerves, apologising before they had even sat down. Others carried decades of silence, unsure if they were even “allowed” to talk about how badly they were struggling.

Challenges of Helping Men Identify Their Emotions

Some clients even asked me not to say, “How does that make you feel?” For them, the thought was clear: “How can I talk about a feeling I do not yet understand?” Those moments really stayed with me, because they showed me just how wide the gap can be between my expectation that someone would open up and the reality of speaking to someone who had never been given the language to describe their emotions in the first place.

Men’s Mental Health Beyond the Counselling Room

Training had prepared me for client work in theory. What it had not prepared me for was the sheer weight of stigma, silence, and shame that so many men brought with them.

The truth is, men do not leave those unspoken rules at the counselling room door. They carry them into workplaces too, into boardrooms, building sites, offices, and factory floors.

Why Supporting Men’s Mental Health Matters for Everyone

If we want healthier organisations, we have to create cultures where men feel safe to bring their whole selves. That does not mean forcing emotion, but it does mean giving permission: space to talk, space not to be okay, and space to learn a new language for what they feel.

Supporting men’s mental health is not a niche. It is central to building workplaces and communities that thrive.

Free training courses

These courses will give you an understanding of the different mental health problems such as learning about stress, depression, anxiety and PTSD. You will learn the signs and symptoms, and triggers of poor mental health that have an impact on men.

Note: If you already hold this certificate, you won’t be eligible for funding for these courses.